由於社會對於同志族群會有傳統的刻板印象,對於同志伴侶的確 是缺乏一個關係經營的支持系統,儘管有許多的伴侶努力經營,但缺 乏社會保障,沒有婚姻制度,造成許多伴侶比異性戀分手更頻繁,因 此在許多次分手的情況下,每次都會有所改變。從前述的背景當中, 本研究目的想了解失戀者所遇到的分手的難題與難關後,如何面對自 己,再重新建立自我價值,重新建立自我價值，及其中的轉化學習。。

而在研究方法上,本研究使用質性研究,而研究對象為以年滿十八歲且具分手經驗,並只認同自己為同性戀者為對象,再透過與他們 多次的深度訪談的紀錄以獲得研究資料。進而透過分析、詮釋與文獻資料的對照，以達成研究目的。

進本研究結果:可以發現同志伴侶會有內部與外部的挑戰,外部 包括刻板印象、結婚壓力、家庭是否支持與支持程度等,而內部挑戰 包括相處模式、衝突處理、性外遇等,但經歷分手的痛苦還是會試圖 與前伴侶保持朋友關係,思考的轉化上也從不積極的面對，轉為更加積極挑戰與投資自己；對於戀愛的態度也轉為從多次的失戀經驗中成為往後成功戀情的基石，從經驗中學習，用更理性來面對愛情分手。

在結論與建議方面，希望這個社會給更多的空間給同志朋友，在思想上的，權利上與各學門的討論上，可以用更開放的角度來重視同志朋友的權利與問題，另外在諮商工作者的方面，也以多接觸同志族群方面的資訊，提升知能。當同志朋友提出需求，也可以給與專業且適合同志的建議與幫助。

Due to the stereotype impression on gay, gay companions are lack of a relationship supporting systems. Without the society commitment and legal marriage system, gay couples are having a higher breakup rate than heterosexual couples, even though many gay couples put more efforts in their relationships. In the situation of higher breakup rate, they are more likely to learn and improve in dealing with relationship. Under this basis, the study focus on the failure in love—what is the difficulty in changing, how to face the true self, and rebuilt self-esteem.

In terms of study method , qualitative method is in use ; the interviewees are minimum aged 18 , who have break-up experiences and recognize themselves as gay. Complete data are allocated through detailed interviews. The creditability is based on cross analysis of data and literature review.

The result of study shows that gay companions face challenges from both internal and external; the external challenges are stereotype impression, marriage thrust, family support (and the standard of support); the internal challenges includes getting along with each other ,having an affair etc.. However, interviews tend to maintain friendship with their previous companions , and tend to be more positive , willing to take challenges and invent in themselves. In addition, interviewees are more likely to acquire stable future love relationship since they have many past heartbreaking experiences. They have learnt from past and deal with break-up in a more rational and mature way.

In conclusion, the author expects the society could offer more and more space for gay in variety respects, such as space , thoughts, rights and professional subjects. There should be more open angle to reinforce gay groups` rights and issue. In terms of psychological consultant, they should learn more information about gay , thus, gay group could be offered professional and immediate help when needed.

壹、 中文部分

甘乃瑩（2003）。愛情關係中的不安全感與情緒表達衝突： 自我確定性和關係自我確定性的中介效果。國立嘉義大學心理學研究所碩士論文。

田鎔瑄、謝慧雯譯(2004)。戀人還是朋友：分手療傷手冊。台北：宇宙光全人懷。

余文中（2003）。教育老兵之生涯敘說。國立屏東師範學院心理輔導教育研究所碩士論文，未出版。

余振民（1998）。未婚男性的愛情觀－現象學的方法研究。國立政治大學心理學研究所碩士論文，未出版之碩士論文。

吳麗雲(2001)。男女分手後的調適與輔導。諮商與輔導,186, 40-42頁。

李怡真（2001）。愛情關係中的情緒表達衝突。國立臺灣大學心理學研究所碩士論文。

江文瑜（1996）。〈口述史法〉。台北：巨流。

周柏伶（2000）。同性戀輔導。輔導通訊，61，37-41。

易之新（譯）（2005）。關係花園（Mckeen, J. & Wong, B.）。台北：心靈工坊。

朱偉誠(2000)。〈台灣同志運動／文化的後殖民思考：兼論現身問題〉，何春蕤編，《從酷兒空間到教育空間》，1-25。台北：麥田。

林宜旻（1993）。愛情類型、嫉妒與關係滿意度之相關研究。國立政治大學心理學研究所碩士論文。

林光源（2006）。不被看見的存在──男同志愛情經驗敘說。未出版之碩士論文，國立台北教育大學教育心理與諮商學系，台北市。

林志清（2006）。男伴男行：男同志伴侶生活經驗之探究。未出版之碩士論文，國立高雄師範大學輔導與諮商研究所。

林秋燕（2004）。失戀歷程及復原力展現之分析研究。國立高雄師範大學輔導研究所碩士論文(未出版之碩士論文)。

林家瑩 (1999)。喪失子女的父母失落與悲傷反應及復原歷程的研究。國立高雄師範大學輔導與諮商研究所碩士論文(未出版之碩士論文)。

林曉芳 (2004)。E世代青少年對同性戀的多元文化觀。嶺東學報，15，95-128。

洪佳玲（1999）。「同性戀」的輔導。諮商與輔導，160，21-23。

修慧蘭、孫頌賢（2003）。大學生約會暴力行為之測量與調查。教育與心理研究， 26，471-499。

胡幼慧（1996）台灣老年人口的依賴結構初探：以老年婦女為例，人口學刊，17，83～112。

吳芝儀，李奉儒譯（1995）。質的評鑑與研究。台北：桂冠圖書

吳昱廷（2000）。男同志同居伴侶的住宅空間體驗。應用心理學研究，8，121-147。

吳界月(2004)。生命的軌跡與脈動－福智教育園區全職志工觀點轉換歷程。南華大學生死學研究所碩士論文，未出版，嘉義。

張文雄（1993）。從類型論點探討大學生的愛情觀。東海學報，34，449-462。

張老師月刊編輯部 (1998)。「情人再見」問卷調查分析報告。張老師月刊，251。

張國珍（2003）。男同志父母壓力來源、調適歷程與社會支持之研究。樹德科技大學人類性學研究所碩士論文。

張惠芬（譯）（1998）。步入婚姻之道（Murstein, B. I.）。台北：揚智。

張娟芬 (2001)。愛的自由式一女同志故事書，台北: 時報文化出版。

張歆佑（2005）。男同志伴侶關係發展歷程之研究。國立彰化師範大學輔導與諮商學系博士論文，未出版。

許雅凱 (2005)。高職生愛情分手失落反應與因應策略之研究。國立彰化師範大學輔導與諮商研究所碩士論文(未出版之碩士論文)。

陳明蕾 (1999)。一個新的學習典範：觀點轉化學習理論。成人教育學刊，3，1-31。

許雅惠(譯)（2002）成人及繼續教育─理論與實務（Peter, J.），
台北：五南圖書。

侯佳惠(2001)。成人學習者性別角色刻板印象之觀點轉化學習研究。中正大學成人及繼續教育研究所，碩士論文。未出版。

陳怡秀 (2010)。個人自我取向、自我拓展與分手後適應狀態之關聯性研究。東吳大學心理學系碩士論文。

陳皎眉、王叢桂、孫蒨如(2002)。社會心理學。台北縣：空中大學。

陳勤惠（2000）。焦慮矛盾依附型的女大學生之情傷經驗研究。屏東師範學院教育心理與輔導研究所碩士論文。

黃以文（2001）零與壹之間，輔導通訊，61：14-15

黃君瑜（2003）。意義追尋與因應對情侶分手後情緒適應之影響－以大學生為例。國立政治大學心理所博士論文。

黃德祥、楊茜如（2000），同性戀學生之問題與輔導，輔導通訊，61，23-28

楊茜如（1999）。大學生愛情觀、性別角色與兩性關係及其相關因素之研究。國立彰化師範大學教育研究所碩士論文。

歐用生（1995）。教師成長與學習。臺北：臺灣省國民學校教師研習會。

趙淑珠（2003）。未婚單身女性生活經驗之研究：婚姻意義的反思。教育心理學報，34（2），221-246。

謝文宜（2006）。台灣同志伴侶親密關係發展的挑戰與因應策略。中華輔導學報，20，83-120。

謝文宜（2006，11月）。已婚夫妻、未婚情侶與同志伴侶關係之比較研究。論文發表於「2006社會學會年會」，台中：東海大學。

謝文宜、曾秀雲（2007）。探討伴侶關係滿意度及其相關因素：比較已婚夫妻、未婚情侶與同志伴侶的差異。台灣性學學刊，13（1），71-86。

魯龍光（2005）。同性戀性史。臺北：柏室科技藝術。

熊敏君（2005）。消費、認同與生活風格：解析健身俱樂部中的消費實踐與意涵。世新大學傳播研究所碩士論文，未出版。

董福強（2004）。高職學生愛情態度研究。國立中山大學教育研究所碩士論文。

劉安真（2000）。對同性戀輔導的反思。諮商與輔導，171，23-27。

劉安真（2002）。從多元文化觀點談同志肯定諮商。輔導季刊，38（4），6-15。

貳、英文部份

Baxter, L.A. (1994). A dialogic approach to relational maintenance. In D. Canary & L. Stafford (Eds.), Communication and relational maintenance (pp. 233-254).New York: Academic Press.

Bell, A. P., & Weinberg, M.S,(1978). Homosexuality’s: A study of diversity among men and women. New York: Simon & Schuster

Berger, R. M. & Kelly, J, J, (1986).Working with homosexuals of the older population. Social Casework, 67, 203-210.

Bernet (1996). Emotional intelligence: components and correlates. New York: Academic Press

Bowlby, J. (1973). Affectional bonds: Their nature and origin. In R. Weiss (Eds.).Loneliness: The experience of emotional and social isolation (pp. 38-52).Cambridge, MA: MIT Press.

Bryant, A. S., & Demian.(1994). Relationship characteristics of American gay and lesbian couples: Findings from a national survey. In L. A. Kurdek (Ed.), Social services for gay and lesbian couples (pp. 101-117). New York: Haworth.

Campbell, S. M. (1980). The couple's journey: Intimacy as a path to
wholeness.CA: Impact Publishers.

Cove and Boyle,(2002). Gay mens’ self-defined sexual problems, CA: Impact Publishers.

Dorfman, R.,Walters, K., Burke, P., Hardin, L., & Karanik, T. (1995). Old, sad and alone: The myth of the aging homosexual. Journal of Gerontological Social Work, 24(1), 29-44.

Driggs, J.H., & Finn, S.E. (1988). Intimacy between men. NY: Harper & Row.

Elizur, Y., & Mintzer, A. (2003).Gay males' intimate relationship quality: The roles of attachment security, gay identity, social support, and income. Personal Relationships, 10(3), 411-435.

Fassinger, R. E., & Richie, B. S. (1997).Sex matters: Gender and sexual
orientation in training for multicultural counseling competency. In D. B.Pope-Davis & H. L. K. Coleman (Eds.), Multicultural counseling competencies: Assessment, education and training, and supervision (pp.83-1110). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage

George Akeriof et al. Nock, Linda Waite and Maggie Gallagher (2000). The case for marriage.New York: Doubleday.

George, K. D., & Behrent, A. E. (1987).Therapy for male couples:
experiencing relationship problems and sexual problems. In E. Coleman(Ed.) Psychotherapy with homosexual men and women: Integrated identity approaches for clinical practice. New York: Haworth Press.

GOLDFRIED, M. R. (2001). Integrating gay, lesbian, and bisexual issues into mainstream psychology. American Psychologist, 56, 977–988.

Green, R. J. (2004). Risk and resilience in lesbian and gay couples: Comment on Solomon, Rothblum, and Balsam. Journal of Family Psychology, (2), 290-292.

Greenan, D.E. & Tunnel, G. (2003).Couple therapy with gay men. New York: Guilford.

Grossman, A. H., D Angelic, A. R., & Hershberger, S. L. (2000).Social
support networks of lesbian, gay and bisexual adults 60 years of age and older. Journal of Gerontology: Psychological Sciences, 55b(3), 171-179.

Harre, R. (1983). Personal being: A theory for individual psychology. England: Basil Blackwell.

Hash, K. M.(2001).Preliminary study of caregiving and post-caregiving experiences of older gay men and lesbians. Journal of Gay & Lesbian Social Services, 13(4), 87–94.

Hatfield, E. & Rapson, R. L.(1996). Love and sex: Cross-cultural perspectives. Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon

Havelock Ellis, The nationalization of health, London: T. Fisher Unwind

Hoff, Colleen C. & Chakravarty, Deepalika1 & Beougher, Sean C.1 & Darbes, Lynae A.2 & Dadasovich, Rand2 & Neilands, Torsten B.2(2009). Differences and Agreements about Sex with outside Partners among Gay Male Couples, AIDS Education & Prevention, Vol. 21 Issue 1, p25-38

Isensee, R. (1996). Love between men: Enhancing intimacy and keeping your relationship alive. Boston: Alyson Publications.

Yoshimoto.(2003) Observing Gay, Lesbian and Heterosexual Couples'
Relationships: Mathematical Modeling of Conflict Interaction,
Journal of Homosexuality, 45(1), 65-91

Kaczmarek, M. G., Backlund, B. A., & Biemer, P. (1990).The dynamics of ending aromantic relationship: An empirical assessment of grief. Journal of College Student Development, 31, 319-324.

Kaczmarek, M. G., & Backlund, B. A. (1991).Disenfranchised grief: The loss of an adolescent romantic relationship. Adolescence, 26, 253-259.

Kurdek, L.A. (1989). Relationship quality in gay and lesbian cohabiting couples: A 1-year follow-up study. Journal of Social & Personal Relationships, 6, 39-59.

Kurdek, L. A. (1988).Perceived social support in gays and lesbians in
cohabitating relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 54(3), 504-509.

Kurdek, L. A., & Schmitt, J. P. (1987) . Perceived emotional support from family and friends in members of homosexual, married, and heterosexual cohabiting couples. Journal of Homosexuality, 14(3-4), 57-68.

Kurdek, L. A. (1991). Sexuality in homosexual and heterosexual couples. In K.McKinney & S. Sprecher (Eds.), Sexuality in close relationships (pp.177-191).Hillsdale, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum.

Kurdek, L. A. (1994). Do Gay and Straight Couples Argue about the Same Issues, Journal of Marriage and the Family, 56, 923-934.

Kurdek, L. A. (1995). Predicting change in marital satisfaction from husbands and wives conflict resolution styles. Journal of Marriage and Family, 57, 153-164.

LaGrand, L. E. 1989. Youth and the disenfranchised breakup. In K. Doka (Ed.), Disenfranchised grief: Recognizing hidden sorrow (pp.177-191). New York: Lexington Book

LaSala, M. C. (2000). Gay Male Couples: The importance of coming out and being out to parents. Journal of Homosexuality, 39, 47-71.

Lemieux, R., & Hale, J. L. (2000). Intimacy, Passion, and Commitment Among Married Inviduals : Further Testing of the Triangular Theory of Love. Psychological Reports, 87, 941-948.

Liveneh, H.（1986）. A unified approach to existing models of adaptation to disability：Part 1－a model adaptation. Journal of Applied Rehabilitation Counseling, 17(1), 5-16.

Lourde, A. (1984). Sister outsider.Berkeley: Crossing Press.

MacDonald, B. (1998). Issues in therapy with gay and lesbian couples . Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 24, 165-190.

Mackey, R.A., Diemer, M.A., & O'Brien, B.A. (1997). Psychological intimacy in the lasting relationships of heterosexual and same-gender couples Sex Roles, 43, 201-227.

McWhirter, D.P., & Mattison, A.M. (1984). The male couple: How
relationships develop. NJ: Prentice-Hall.

Mercier, L., & Berger, R. M. (1989). Social service needs of lesbian and gay adolescents: Telling it their way. Journal of Social Work and Human Sexuality, 8(1), 75-95.

Metz, M. E., Rosser, B. R. S., & Strapko, N. (1994).Differences in
conflict-resolution styles among heterosexual, gay, and lesbian couples. Journal of Sex Research, 31, 1-16.

Mezirow, J. (1995). Transformation theory of adult learning. In M. Welton (Ed.), In defense of the lifeworld. Albany, NY: State University of New York Press.

Mezirow, J. (1999). Transformative learning and social action: A response to Inglis.Adult Education Quarterly, 49, 65‐67.

Mitchell, Jason.(2010).Examining the role of relationship characteristics and dynamics on sexual risk behavior among gay male couples. Oregon State University, 172, 1-16.

Murphy, B. C. (1989). Lesbian couples and their parents: The effects of perceived parental attitudes on the couple. Journal of Counseling and Development, 68, 46-51.

Orbuch, T.L. (1992).Becoming a married couple: The emergence of meaning, International Society for the Study of Personal Relationships, Journal of Marriage and Family, 64, 374-383.

Oswald, R. F. (2002). Resilience within the family networks of lesbians and gay men: Intentionality and redefinition. Journal of Marriage and Family, 64, 374-383.

Peplau, L. A. (1991). Lesbian and gay relationships. In J. C. Gonsiorek & J. D. Weinrich (Eds.), Homosexuality: Research implications for public policy (pp. 177-196). Newbury Park, Calief: Sage.

Peplau, L. A. & Spalding, L. R. (2000). The close relationships of lesbians, gay men, and bisexuals. In C. Hendrick & S. S. Hendrick (Eds.), Close relationships: A sourcebook (pp. 111-124). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.

Riessman, C.K. 1993. Narrative Analysis, Qualitative Research Methods
Series, No. 30. Newbury Park, CA: Sage.

Riggle, E. D. B. (2004). Same-sex couple perceptions of family support: A consensual qualitative study. Family Process, 43(1), 43-57.

Robak, R. W., & Weitzman, S. P. (1995). Grieving the loss of romantic
relationships in young adulthood：An empirical study of
disenfranchised grief. Omega, 30 (4),269-208.

Sarafino, E. P. (1990). Health psychology. Newbury Park, CA: Sage.

Schoenfeld, A. H. (1987). What’s all the fuss about metacognition? Journal of Sex Research, 31, 1-16.

Shippy, R. A., Cantor, M. H., & Brennan, M. (2004).Social networks of aging gay men. Journal of Men's Studies, 13(1), 107-120.

Sprecher, S. (1994) . Two sides to the breakup of dating relationships. Personal Relationships, 1, 199-222.

Sprecher, S., Felmlee, D., Metts, S., Fehr, B., & Vanni, D. (1998). Factors associated with distress following the breakup of a close relationship. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 15(6), 791-809.

Sternberg, R. J. (1986). Construct validation of a triangular theory of love. Yale University: New Haven.

Stroebe, W., & Stroebe, M. S. (1988). Bereavement and health: The psychological and physical consequences of partner loss. Cambridge: Cambridge University.

Taylor, S. J., & Bogdan, R. (1984). Introduction to qualitative research methods. New York: John Wiley & Sons.

Weinberg, G. (1972). Society and the healthy homosexual. New York: St. Martin’s

Weisstub, E. B., & Schoenfeld, H. (1987). Brief goal limited therapy in the treatment of homosexuals. American Journal of Psychotherapy, 41, 95-103.

Weston, K. (1991). Families we choose: Lesbians, gays, kinship. New York: Columbia University Press.

Wethington, E., & Kessler, R. C. (1986). Perceived support, received support, and adjustment to stressful life events. Journal of Health and Social Behavior, 27, 78-89.

參、日文部份

石川大我（2009）。〈ボクの彼氏はどこにいる〉。東京 : 講談社 。

大塚隆史（2009）。〈二人で生きる技術 : 幸せになるためのパートナーシップ〉。東京 : ポット 。

矢島正見（2009）。〈男性同性愛者のライフヒストリー〉。東京 : 学文社